Rule 5 Thursday
Because I figure it’s high time I at least pretend to be making an effort to drive a bit more traffic to the ol’ blog here.
Now with a picture!
(It’s left up to the reader to figure out which item below this image pertains to.)
Item 1: Given how pervasive things like portable DVD players, portable media players, and even netbooks or small notebooks with sufficient battery life and graphics capabilities to play back high-quality video have become these days, it’s no surprise that drivers have found new ways to utilize these technologies to grow their idiocy by leaps and bounds.
It’s bad enough when that idiocy results in crashes.
It’s worse still when those crashes result in bodily harm or death.
It’s even worse when the video distraction that precipitated a deadly crash was porn.
It’s no secret how dangerous it is for truck drivers to use in-cab computers and navigation systems while driving. Yesterday, the federal Department of Transportation (DOT) prohibited truckers from texting on the road, but, unfortunately, there’s no such ban on other devices.
Now, we’re seeing the heartbreaking results of this lack of action. According to an Associated Press report, a truck driver who was watching porn on his in-cab laptop struck a car near Buffalo, New York this past December, killing the woman inside. Thomas Wallace, a 45-year-old trucker from Ohio, was arrested Tuesday and charged with second-degree manslaughter in the death of Julie Stratton, a 33-year-old mother. Police say Wallace also broke federal trucking laws by sleeping less than four hours in the 27-hour period preceding the wreck. Stratton was inside the car, which was broken down on the side of a New York State Thruway after she’d hit a deer, when Wallace’s truck swerved and crashed into her vehicle.
While this is a horrible event, it often takes a tragedy to spur positive action. It’s a shame that a woman had to die, but let’s hope Stratton’s death will encourage legislators to clamp down on the truckers who use personal computers while piloting those massive rigs through our highways and byways.
There are times I lament the fact that the law does not have sufficient categories to suitably punish all offenders. Were justice truly served, Wallace would lose his license forever, and serve no small quantity of years behind bars. He will likely endure neither fate, however.
Item 2: Ah, Japan. If you’re a woman, good reader, and you are yearning — just yearning — to visit a society which treats women poorly, but which is not also some fetid Islamic backwater, Japan’s the place for you.
Seriously…the stuff that women have to put up with there is almost beyond comprehension at times. Case in point:
The latest product to come out of the perpetually fascinating land of Japan might just be the most simplistic, yet most disturbing we’ve yet to see. And that’s saying a lot.
A new DVD called ‘Miterudake for Lady‘ is designed to help Japanese women deal with men staring at them…by showing them images of men, well, staring at them. According to the manufacturer Avex, Miterudake (“only seeing” in Japanese) is targeted at the jaded woman whose “heart was almost broken at love and interpersonal relationships.” According to InventorSpot, after a minute of staring into the camera, one of the 51 Japanese men on the DVD will give a reassuring laugh, and offer some words of encouragement.
The Miterudake isn’t only for women who need extra help getting over the “Male Gaze,” though; there’s a version for men, too, and it’s even creepier. The guy version features more of a variety in demographic when it comes to staring subjects, including female twins and octogenarians, among others. And judging from one of the sample clips after the jump, Japanese men apparently get anxious even when school age girls stare at them, for reasons we obviously don’t even want to think about.
Yeesh.
Item 3: Ah, the French. Really the best people to look to if you need to find examples of useless gestures and entirely ineffectual means of fighting battles.
Even when the battle in question is the battle against AIDS:
A replica of a condom-shaped balloon, the “Condomfiere,” is set up at the Palais de la Decouverte on Jan. 26, 2010, in Paris as part of a campaign created by the French association CondomFly. The 40-meter-high Condomfiere will fly on every continent starting next Dec. 1, the World Day against AIDS, to promote condom use and prevention against sexually transmitted diseases.
You know what would be a better shape for that balloon, good reader? A zipper. Regular use thereof will do far more to stop the spread of STDs than a quantity of condoms sufficient to cover the entirety of France ever will.
Item 4: After Avatar, I suppose this was inevitable:
When does 3-D technology transform from a gimmick into a full-blown trend? No, not when live sporting events are broadcast in 3-D, and not even when ‘Avatar’ racks-up enough money to make Bill Gates jealous. No, the technology has finally arrived in its full-frontal glory when the porn industry embraces it, and now, that day has come.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Italian director Tinto Brass said Thursday that he’s ready to create the world’s first 3-D porno flick. You might remember Brass from his infamous 1979 film ‘Caligula,’ which was set in ancient Rome and featured graphic Sex scenes (incest, cheating, and a giant killing machine) that ruffled many feathers. So what’s the premise behind this 3-D porn? Brass says it’ll “revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there.” Sounds like he’ll really be stretching his creative muscles with this one. Brass says he’ll write the script and cast the film as soon as possible, and he hopes to begin filming in May or June. (Gore Vidal, feel up to the task?)
Item 5: Ah, Verizon…walking the fine line between trendy advertising and crass sexism:
If you ask us, the Palm Pre Plus pretty much sells itself. So if we were working out a promo campaign for it, we’d just display the competitive pricing front and center and get the hell out of the product’s way. But that just wouldn’t do for Verizon. After all the machismo it attached to the Droid, the wireless provider is back with a set of ads for the Pre Plus targeted at the modern lady. We’re not told why two slabs of plastic and silicon with comparable sliding keyboards and similar internals must be compartmentalized by gender, but we don’t really care. The new ads are crazy enough in themselves, so just go see ‘em after the break.
And let’s just be clear: by “the modern lady,” Verizon evidently means sitcom housewives of the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s.
Item 6: Surfing porn at work is bad. Surfing porn at work in full view of a news team giving an interview to your boss is bad and also quite stupid.
We’ve all seen news footage of a reporter delivering coverage on location when some joker runs into the frame. What you don’t often get to see is a guy in the background checking out racy photos while his boss gives a live interview.
During an otherwise stale report on the Australian economy for 7 News, the report cuts to Macquarie Bank, where a representative from the company begins explaining interest rates and inflation. For a solid minute, it’s the most uninteresting thing in the world.
And then you notice the man over the rep’s right shoulder who’s looking at what appears to be pictures of naked ladies (Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr, reportedly) — while he’s talking to a co-worker, no less.
The highlight of the entire piece is just after the 1:30 mark, when the horndog takes a moment to look over his shoulder and spots the camera that’s been trained on him the entire time.
Okay, that’s enough for now. Any more and I’d have to call this one: “Rule 5 Thursday: Rampant Human Stupidity Edition.”
